Don’t judge me. But you can judge these guys for Masters of Song Fu #5.

Logo for Masters of Song Fu #5. It's right up there. No, Really, it is.

I know you’re thinking… What is this Masters of Song Fu, and why do I need to judge it?

Short answer – Cool people wrote some songs to compete in a fun contest. No cash prizes, just to further their craft as artists. You can check it out here, and vote for the top 5 you like. There are 34 entries this round.

Longer answer: Song Fu is a contest for songwriters and musicians, challenging them to create a song within certain rules and guidelines. Some are more free form, and some are much more constricted. The latest contest is one of the more constricting. You have a week to write, produce and uploaded an MP3 of your song to go with all the other groups, then be judged on originality, content, and how well you fit the spirit of the theme. Quite a challenge.

I stumbled upon this when Mike Lombardo randomly followed the BYD on Twitter. He had entered a song for Contest #4, and it looked like a fun project to join in on.  Due to a mix up, I’m not in the competition for #5, but I’ll try and work on one for the non voting ‘shadow’ contest.

More after the break, and my long list on impressions of all the songs this round. – but go and check it out now – the voting ends this weekend, and there’s almost 2 hours worth of original music to listen to – all at no cost.

34 people finished songs for the challenge this round – here’s the post I put up over at on thoughts of the entries. I hope you have a chance to check them out before the voting ends, but even after that, you can check out the archives. Good stuff. You can open up this link in a new window and read the bios of the artists, and click this link to download all the songs at once.

*****(post on Song Fu Board)

This Round was a tough one – the rules were:

This is a bit of a fun one. Your first task is based upon the work of Friend-of-the-StopJohn Hodgman – specifically, the “700 MOLE MEN” listed in his second book, More Information Than You Require. You’ll find the full list of “700 Mole Men” – and their descriptions – HERE. Your task is to choose one (1) and write a song about that Mole Man, based on the description provided by Hodgman. The title of your song will be the name of the Mole Man you’ve chosen, and its corresponding number on the list. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute

34 people finished songs for the challenge this round – here’s the post I put up over at on thoughts of the entries. I hope you have a chance to check them out before the voting ends, but even after that, you can check out the archives. Good stuff. You can open up this link in a new window and read the bios of the artists, and click this link to download all the songs at once.

*****(post on Song Fu Board)

Congrats to everyone – Good crop of songs in this Fu. I’m sad to tell you my own song about #287 Crazyant, wasn’t completed in time, but I think it best to spare you about his antics involving filicide and the Thanksgiving Mole Turkey.

My first impressions… (and voted for *)

Lady Antonia Oddpolyps No. 487.2 – Jubilee Jews
“Now I am stuck here in this hole we have dug. Munchin’ on beetles and numerous bugs…” Ukulele and electric guitar bass counterpoint.
Interesting lament. I liked the lyrics, but some of the verses sounded awkward. Singer nailed the anguish and forlorn of a person cheated on by her husband.

#006 Sir Stinson Maggotwrangle – Timothy Rush
‘A Gentle Mole, with a gentle soul. A friend to both you and me”
Solo Guitar. Ballad about a nice mole who has done himself well.
The break into scat singing was a surprise, but fit the song well.

#019 Thomas Ashley Innersun – Jason Morris *
‘Nobody milks a wet worm better than me, no way’…. Multi track 12 String Guitar, Drums, backing vocals. Good slow country ballad, great wordplay telling the life story of Thomas. Great production values that complement the song. Nice hook.

#042 Miss Claudia Inward Burrowdown – Jarrett Heather
‘Chances are, you know her work if you lived underground’ Piano Ballad.
Has a counterpoint verse feel to kick up the ironic humor a notch. Made me smile that she helped write the Declaration of Independence with only hisses and squeals.

#042 Miss Claudia Inward Burrowdown – Steve Chatterton
‘While she composes verse, both concise and terse that you’ll never get to read or see’ Guitar, Drums, Backing Vocals. Upbeat Pop. Good use of details to push the story forward.

#077 Dr. Hieronymous Sandpuppy – Justin Wolf
‘Yeah, I’m on my way. Passing Thru. Guess I’ll move on.’ Guitar Ballad. The good Doctor is misunderstood as he sells his miracle elixirs. Kinda a Jonathan Edwards vibe to it.

#138 Sir Isaac Quickmud – Edric Haleen
‘Gravity is caused by the Sky pushing down on the earth’ Electric Harpsichord
A class lesson in Molemen physics. Not quite a song, but a skit with dramatic accompaniment. Interesting take on the MM universe.

#141 Devil Anse Doubledirt – Kylie Petto
‘Devil he went by name and massacring was his game- Doubledirt the Demon Hunter’ Guitar Filksong. An ode to the mole who hunted Demons near and far.
I liked the passion in your voice, but the mic technique made it difficult to make out the lyrics.

#145 Mandibular-Jaw Johnny – Ian Johnson
‘They pulled him out, there was no doubt that Johnny was a hero’ Piano Ballad.
Johnny saves his classmates during a cave in, to the cheers of the populace.
The ‘Johnny’ chant was surprising, and worked well to wrap the song.

#153 Permanent Unsex – Lex Vader
‘If I can’t take you home, then I won’t take anyone.’ Techno dance
Mole boy can’t get mole girl? Classic story. Doesn’t really mention moles though.
Nice solo.

#237 Dirtbag Dan – Zer0guy
“Everybody know if you wanna be a man, you gotta pay a visit to Dirtbag Dan”
Blues Guitar. Great instrumentation. Builds well.

#275 Mr. Owen Daylight – Craig Richie
‘Owen Daylight’s never seen the sun’ Folk Guitar. Owen longs to see the surface, but finds out the hard truth. The grass is often greener where you’re not.

#288 Polly The Exhumer – Governing Dynamics
(No Vocals) Rock – Great instrumentation – but I think they wrong cut made it up on the download group….

#297 Mr. Tom Furby – Joe ‘Covenant’ Lamb *
‘Oh the fun you’re going to have while killing Furbys!’ Irish Drinking Song
Well done parody. Who wouldn’t want to dispatch a few of those?

#298 Mr. Deadend – Spencer Sokol
‘If the going becomes too slow I can always come back home.’ Folk Guitar
Mournful lyrics. Good guitar.

#315 Mr. Dennimore Evercrouch – Peter Benedict
‘Covered in blood he left the scene, knowing he had prevailed
Best mole man writer he may be, too bad that he’s in jail’ Guitar
Good Lyrics. I liked the video.

#381 Captain Dane Frostline – Godz Poodlz *
‘Captain Dane Frostline, there’s a ghost in your digging machine
And he’s haunted, he is haunted by what he has seen’ Pop.Twisted XTC style song with nods to David Bowie’s ‘Major Tom’. The hook kept me listening to the end. Good job.

#414 Nick Nolte – Gorbzilla
‘Nick Nolte craved the limelight’ Pop. Fun ditty on Nick and his obsession to reach the surface. Liked the muted trumpet for the solo.

#422 Mokey – Josh Holober-Ward *
‘It’s all thanks to Mokey the Moleman. It’s all thanks to him…’ Piano
Such a happy, soulful tune. How quickly that changes. Listen this all the way through. Then vote for it. One of my favorites.

#423 Red – Manticess
‘When I make it to the other side I will embrace the sunlight, and finally I will see roses of red’. Guitar. Picked up a ‘Heart’ vibe in this one. Good story.

#429 Mr Roughfingers and his ‘Louse’-estra – Tyler Massey
‘Roughfingers, the Louse-stra plays for you….’ Guitar. A Moleman Troubadour and his lice, touring cave to cave. Has a little Greg Lake (ELP) feel to it. Good story.

#567 Mr. Angelo Openjaw – Chas Lilly
‘Angelo Openjaw tells stories that aren’t true at all to impress the women that he meets.’ Guitar. Upbeat tune about a jerk of a Mole. Good tune and story.

#573 Miss Miriam Poisonblisters – Sara Parsons *
‘Blisters don’t keep me from you…’ Piano. Happy song about pustules and unrequited love. Great instrumentation.

#580 Old Man Hades – Gifted Gear
‘I want to go where the nights are quiet and play my violin.’ Acapella. Good story about a fallen angel who needs a vacation.

#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny – The Jalapeno Jabaneros
‘He’s gone, gone, gone, gone to Davy Jones Locker. Pulled by a giant octopus that let him to his slaughter’ Acapella Sea Chanty. Good story. Sucks to be a moleman some days. Literally.

#612 Mr. Barry Screwskull – Jonathan Mann
‘Don’t you know the time has come for leavin’?’ Folk Guitar. Dylenesque verses with a solid beat.

#623 Jenna Frogtalker – Jeff Fardink
‘She’s an acolyte of the Toad’ Power Pop. Sometimes you can follow a little to closely to someone…. Good song, good hook.

#023 Miss Annabelle Tunnelsmell – Bobby Westfall
“When you put your glasses on, you stole my heart.” Guitar
Gentle ballad on a smitten singer.

#139 Mr. Genuine Hissfurther – “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson
‘That Awkward human kid was bound to break my moleman heart’ Guitar
The Mentor and the kid named Jefferson. Good story. Good song.

#471 Mr. Armskin – AudioMohel
‘The only Moleman living to escape the bonds of earth’ Blues Funky song on the flying moleman and the tribulations of his genetic heritage. Great solo.

#490 Mr. Nehemiah Bloodwormer – Caleb Hines
‘Mr. Nehemiah Bloodwormer – Tamer of the Mongolian Deathworm’ Olde English Minstrel Song. Upbeat ditty on Nehemiah, and his exploits with the BloodWorms and lunch. Liked the end twist.

#590 Mr. Harvey Rupert Elder – Aaron Z
‘His life would change forever… and at first he would not like it’.
Slow Guitar Ballad on the return of Harvey to his origins.

#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny – Alex Taylor
‘I wanna 3 way just like Pythagorus’ Guitar. Lusty Sea Tale about a Mole, an Octopus and the Deep Blue Sea.

#666 Tommy Dickfish – Bram Tant
‘He has a dick like a fish’ …. who’d have thought it? Guitar

Again, good job to everyone who participated. I’m impressed with the variety this Song Fu.

Tommy G


If you’re still reading this massive missive, I’ll say one of my favorites that had me laughing was ‘Mokey’ by Josh Holober-Ward. You don’t need to know the history of the characters to follow the story, and I admire the crafting of the song to the ‘I wish I wrote that’ ending.

And please leave some thoughts and positive comments here and on the Song fu board for the artists. If they went to all that trouble to create these songs, it would be nice to give them a little feedback and encouragement.


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